XXVIII

“Things to say when in love
i. I want to make you a planet.
ii. I will put the galaxy in your hair.
iii. Your kisses are a mouthful of firewater.
iv. I have never seen a more beautiful horizon than when you close your eyes.
and
v. I have never seen a more beautiful dawn than when you open your eyes.”

— Tapiwa Mugabe, Zimbabwe

I found a safe place

Every inch of me is lovely

Every movement I make is captivating

Every sentence responded to with patience

Every impulse reacted to with rationality

I arrived abruptly

Threw down my jumbled and illogical baggage

Masked insecurities with indifference

Too delivering my light and laughter,

I was allowed to stay

feasting on lust

For a dependable future, all must

focus on self-interest, prevent vulnerability

Is something truly dynamic and deep

if tenderness, attachment, intimacy

are not paired with anxiety, aggravation, aggression,

Never meeting the distress, the complexities I expected

perhaps even yearned for

The place mustn't be real

Every experience easy, effortless

It must be shallow, simple-minded

yet

I felt changes across my atmosphere

Realities I knew of disappearing, lessons ingrained in me altering

Lightly, slowly, without expectation or demand

I was stripped Naked

of my childish pride, my backward beliefs

Awakened by

in Love

Warm arms reaching out to me for the thousandth time

no resentment, hesitation, or question

always tolerance, confidence, understanding

I was adored, but not worshiped

and with that

I was freed

Thanks to strong hands, unrivaled

I am my authentic Self

while living in unity

Weightless

Unabridged

at Peace

I live New

'Olives and Juice,' written Dec 2015.

XXVII

“It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.”

— Benjamin Britten

Magic

Friends joke I cannot do anything without music.

It is incredibly important in my every move.

I wake to music, walk to my car to music, fall asleep to music.

I put music on to cry, feel empowered, get energized.

Here are some songs I adore.

Songs that make me feel intense contrasting/conflicting emotions at once.

XXVI

“‘i love myself.’

the
quietest.
simplest.
most
powerful.
revolution.
ever.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

My time is the most valuable thing I’ll ever have
And more importantly, have control over
I will work to not continue to repeatedly, exhaustively
put value into humans who don’t have the basic maturity
to recognize their own value, importance, and place in the world until
I am myself burnt out
Don’t teach past your limits, Kate
Don’t parent past your boundaries
You can’t fix the world, Kate
Fix yourself

XXIV

“I am better than I was.
I will be better than I am.”

— (140/365) by (DS)

I have been told I am an old soul since I was able to communicate to the world with words

Wise beyond my years, a 50-year-old in a 15-year-old’s body

Why sentences I string together make my soul seem larger than the body it is trapped inside, I am unsure

At 23, I am today called an old soul

I am wise in my own thoughts

I am strong in my stride, my body, my reality

But others’ actions and realities confuse me, make me question my own

I often feel misunderstood in my attitude, my image, my disposition

At 23, I continue struggling to love my Self without brutal internal questioning and doubt

Despite my efforts to communicate who I am, I have been burned and bruised by those close and far from my heart

Some misunderstanding, some completely rejecting the Self I was, I am

The wounds always feel the same

Yet each battle leaves less of a scar

I emerge stronger, more confident in my own skin, more in love with my own mind

I am not resentful, I am resilient

I am closer to those who stay in my corner

Old souls are wise, but not all-knowing

In a world of new souls, we have many lessons to learn

XXII

“If every life is a river, then it’s little wonder that we do not even notice the changes that occur until we are far out in the darkest sea. One day you look around and nothing is familiar, not even your own face.”

— Alice Hoffman, Incantation

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