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73

The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.
— Carl Jung

Thinking about you is violent.
It’s never just hips.
It’s hips crashing like helmet-less bicycle wrecks,
head over handlebars,
hands all scraped up.
Nails full of dirt and spit and you.
Even your voice is this jarring thing,
this pleasant shake-down,
this sore so good, so goddamn good.
Like a bad-tooth hurt.
I think of you and want to put my fingers
in my mouth.
I want to pull my own hair.
I want smoke and blood.

Trista Mateer

 

Am I lonely?
Sure. Like anybody
who has sat by themselves during
their hardest moments is.
The feeling of being completely
alone does not leave you-
even when you’re assured that
you have people to rely on. 
I am trying to learn my Lonely.
I foster it. So that it does not
eat me up. It is a piece of me that
has never
strayed.

You Don’t Unlearn It Immediately, Lora Mathis

 

later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?

it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.

Warsan Shire