“His voice rolls
and humms
so deeply
I feel it like honey on my tongue
my vagina stirs
opens and awakes
I feel each syllable
deeply inside of me
as if the echos of his words
have crawled inside of me
coaxed and asked
kissed until it is wet
ready to take inside
all of this
from a red hot chilli pepper song”
“I once had a garden filled with flowers that grew only on dark thoughts but they need constant attention & one day I decided I had better things to do.”
S U M M E R V I S U A L S
It's therapeutic to begin writing again. Here is a short piece on the hesitation felt when developing as a person. Growing up and standing in your full power is intimidating, and it can be tempting to stay in your comfort zone.
Being connected
In a world disconnected
Is uncomfortable as hell
I'm getting to know myself, just now
Someone I neglected for 25 years
Someone I drowned out with smart phones & Netflix & vibrators & Pinot
She isn't letting me ignore her much anymore
She makes my tummy ache
She makes my hangovers hurt like hell
She throws tantrums until I say
Hi
You
When she's scared, I tell her I'm here
When she's lonely, I tell her she doesn't have to be alone anymore
When she's mad, I validate her feelings
This relationship scares me
I avoid it often
Probably because
It's the most important one I'll ever have
And I'm terrified of how powerful I will become with her by my side
Power means responsibility
And I like my Netflix & wine a lil too much
“We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.”
It's been months since I've had a working computer. Feels good to have access to my vision boards again.
Xxxxo
“Just to be clear
I don’t want to get out
without a broken heart.
I intend to leave this life
so shattered
there’s gonna have to be
a thousand separate heavens
for all of my separate parts”
I am sorry to ignore my blog. I will try to continue to do at least one post a month. Some changes have occurred in my world, and the journey is great, but also very personal. Life is gloriously busy, and I will try to write more about that soon.
In the meantime, you should listen to Maggie Rogers' EP (my favorite is Better), read Charles Blow in the New York Times as often as possible, follow Dan Rather and Robert Reich on Facebook (these 3 men are keeping me sane from POTUS), watch the final season of Girls on HBO (for nostalgia purposes), follow @Judeliana and @CaitlinJStasey69 on Instagram (they are brilliant artists who are also huge activists), watch the movie Her again (to feel something unusual), read a book on your list (for me, it's The Girls by Emma Cline).
Xxxooooo
“Do you remember the way the girls
would call out “love you!”
conveniently leaving out the “I”
as if they didn’t want to commit
to their own declarations.
And I agree that the “I” is a pretty heavy concept.”
Feeling uninspired as of late. Been under the weather, so I'm focusing on my health, wellness, and being present in my life as much as possible. Unfortunately, that means I continue to postpone items on my blog. I'm anticipating posts from my trips to Sun Valley, Yosemite, and more. Also, working on publishing my recent photoshop work and a list of my favorite Hollywood 'It Girls'. Would you like me to do something on my 'favorite stuff?' Maybe products I use for my skincare or makeup routine? I'm not really that kind of 'blogger,' but I'm playing with the idea.
Xxxooo
