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74

“Do you remember the way the girls
would call out “love you!”
conveniently leaving out the “I”
as if they didn’t want to commit
to their own declarations.

And I agree that the “I” is a pretty heavy concept.”
— David Berman, “Self Portrait at 28”

Feeling uninspired as of late. Been under the weather, so I'm focusing on my health, wellness, and being present in my life as much as possible. Unfortunately, that means I continue to postpone items on my blog. I'm anticipating posts from my trips to Sun Valley, Yosemite, and more. Also, working on publishing my recent photoshop work and a list of my favorite Hollywood 'It Girls'. Would you like me to do something on my 'favorite stuff?' Maybe products I use for my skincare or makeup routine? I'm not really that kind of 'blogger,' but I'm playing with the idea.

Xxxooo

73

“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
— Carl Jung

Thinking about you is violent.
It’s never just hips.
It’s hips crashing like helmet-less bicycle wrecks,
head over handlebars,
hands all scraped up.
Nails full of dirt and spit and you.
Even your voice is this jarring thing,
this pleasant shake-down,
this sore so good, so goddamn good.
Like a bad-tooth hurt.
I think of you and want to put my fingers
in my mouth.
I want to pull my own hair.
I want smoke and blood.

Trista Mateer

 

Am I lonely?
Sure. Like anybody
who has sat by themselves during
their hardest moments is.
The feeling of being completely
alone does not leave you-
even when you’re assured that
you have people to rely on. 
I am trying to learn my Lonely.
I foster it. So that it does not
eat me up. It is a piece of me that
has never
strayed.

You Don’t Unlearn It Immediately, Lora Mathis

 

later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?

it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.

Warsan Shire

 

72

“When we really dive into the reasons for why we cannot let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”
— Marie Kondo

 

A few months ago, I started The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Several people had recommended it to me and said it had truly changed their lives. I was intrigued. "Kondo, Japan's expert declutterer, will help you organize your rooms once and for all. The key to successful tidying is tackling your home in the correct order, keeping only what you really love, and doing it all at once."

I read about 50 pages before I started on my journey (not recommended). But the moment I started reading it, I felt such relief, like I was finally getting permission to get rid of all my stuff. I have had too many things for as long as I can remember. Living half of my life on the East Coast and the other half on the West meant I had two wardrobes, two rooms, two lives, which allowed for a lot of accumulation. So after I got 50 pages in, I invited over some friends and went through my closet. We filled 6 garbage bags up with shoes and clothes and organized my drawers and closets. I felt like I could breathe again.

But since I didn't finish the book, or continue it after my start, I am back to a messy room and life. Just as Kondo predicted! Thus, I have started her book again with the intention of doing it properly this time. I am now at the part where it gives you the task to visualize the life you want to live. Visualize your future space. Visualize what you will be able to do once you no longer live in clutter. As much as I love physical mood boards and collages, I do not have a printer right now, so I will be creating my mood board on this post.

I recommend checking out the book if you think you could commit to a massive cleaning. And you should! Getting rid of clutter is something we could all use. As Kondo says, "When you room is clean and uncluttered, you have no choice but to examine your inner state." 

70

“Our hearts beat so loud the neighbors think we’re fucking

when I’m just trying to find the nerve to touch your face.”
— Andrea Gibson, “Pansies”

R                   a              i    n             b      o              w

 

Another little post for you before I head to Vegas and NY for a bit. This August playlist is from 2 years ago, but the songs are still fire.

Ireland trip photos coming soon. XXOOO

 

69

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

A mood board, just because.

Apologies for not posting as often as I should be. I've been traveling, started a new project with a new company, etc. 

I love you all. Thank you for supporting me and checking back.