blog

75

“There are other words and other worlds…You have taught me that.”
— Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being

My website launched 1 year ago! I have so much fun with it as a form of self-expression and an outlet for creativity. I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of my favorite blog posts! From poems I wrote, to trips taken, to crazy stories (member that girl who stalked my every move for 7 months?), let's take a look back at a few entries out of the 75 in the past year!

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So many more I wanted to post. What are some of your favorites?

XXXOOOO

74

“Do you remember the way the girls
would call out “love you!”
conveniently leaving out the “I”
as if they didn’t want to commit
to their own declarations.

And I agree that the “I” is a pretty heavy concept.”
— David Berman, “Self Portrait at 28”

Feeling uninspired as of late. Been under the weather, so I'm focusing on my health, wellness, and being present in my life as much as possible. Unfortunately, that means I continue to postpone items on my blog. I'm anticipating posts from my trips to Sun Valley, Yosemite, and more. Also, working on publishing my recent photoshop work and a list of my favorite Hollywood 'It Girls'. Would you like me to do something on my 'favorite stuff?' Maybe products I use for my skincare or makeup routine? I'm not really that kind of 'blogger,' but I'm playing with the idea.

Xxxooo

73

“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
— Carl Jung

Thinking about you is violent.
It’s never just hips.
It’s hips crashing like helmet-less bicycle wrecks,
head over handlebars,
hands all scraped up.
Nails full of dirt and spit and you.
Even your voice is this jarring thing,
this pleasant shake-down,
this sore so good, so goddamn good.
Like a bad-tooth hurt.
I think of you and want to put my fingers
in my mouth.
I want to pull my own hair.
I want smoke and blood.

Trista Mateer

 

Am I lonely?
Sure. Like anybody
who has sat by themselves during
their hardest moments is.
The feeling of being completely
alone does not leave you-
even when you’re assured that
you have people to rely on. 
I am trying to learn my Lonely.
I foster it. So that it does not
eat me up. It is a piece of me that
has never
strayed.

You Don’t Unlearn It Immediately, Lora Mathis

 

later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?

it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.

Warsan Shire

 

72

“When we really dive into the reasons for why we cannot let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”
— Marie Kondo

 

A few months ago, I started The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Several people had recommended it to me and said it had truly changed their lives. I was intrigued. "Kondo, Japan's expert declutterer, will help you organize your rooms once and for all. The key to successful tidying is tackling your home in the correct order, keeping only what you really love, and doing it all at once."

I read about 50 pages before I started on my journey (not recommended). But the moment I started reading it, I felt such relief, like I was finally getting permission to get rid of all my stuff. I have had too many things for as long as I can remember. Living half of my life on the East Coast and the other half on the West meant I had two wardrobes, two rooms, two lives, which allowed for a lot of accumulation. So after I got 50 pages in, I invited over some friends and went through my closet. We filled 6 garbage bags up with shoes and clothes and organized my drawers and closets. I felt like I could breathe again.

But since I didn't finish the book, or continue it after my start, I am back to a messy room and life. Just as Kondo predicted! Thus, I have started her book again with the intention of doing it properly this time. I am now at the part where it gives you the task to visualize the life you want to live. Visualize your future space. Visualize what you will be able to do once you no longer live in clutter. As much as I love physical mood boards and collages, I do not have a printer right now, so I will be creating my mood board on this post.

I recommend checking out the book if you think you could commit to a massive cleaning. And you should! Getting rid of clutter is something we could all use. As Kondo says, "When you room is clean and uncluttered, you have no choice but to examine your inner state." 

71

“You do not need saving.
Only reminding of who you are.”
— Tapiwa Mugabe

At age 7, I traveled to Ireland by myself for the first time. The emerald isle quickly become a second home to me, and each summer I would return to live with my extended family for weeks on end. It was a tradition started by my father, a first generation American who left the rush of New York to work on his uncle's farm in the quiet fishing village of Courtmacsherry, Eire until school started again. Like my Dad, some of my favorite memories are from those summers.

This trip was the first time I had been back in the summertime in 5 years. I was an emotional wreck who was constantly crying of happiness and confessing my love to everyone. Being there again, I realized how much Ireland means to me, how significantly my time and the people there have shaped who I am.

Thank you to my Dad for enabling Rob and I to go, we had an unforgettable trip with you. Thank you to Rose and my cousin Neil for inviting us to your beautiful wedding, it was absolutely incredible. Thank you to Aunt Kathleen and Aunt Margaret for the advice and wisdom you shared with me on the trip, I am so grateful we bonded the way we did. Thank you to Robby for coming with me, meeting (literally) 100s of my family members and making them fall just as deeply in love with you as I am. Thank you to Deirdre and Siob for being future bridesmaids and forever my sisters from another mama. Thank you to Marie for always making me feel so welcome and being down to stay out way after we should be in bed. I could give a million thank yous. This trip was truly the time of my life, I could not have had a better time, and I could not feel more blessed than I do coming away from it. This trip solidified that my wedding (far in the future) will be happening in Ireland. 

We were in County Kerry at the Park Hotel/Samas Spa and then in County Cork in Courtmacsherry, Kinsale, Clonakilty, and Cork City. 

Trip highlights include:

  • Brunch with 25 of my Dad's cousins the moment we stepped off the plane.
  • Park Hotel desserts outside at 10:30 pm before the sunset.
  • The 7 mile hike through Killarney National Park.
  • Taking a horse and carriage through the Gap of Dunlop.
  • Treatments and spending time at the pool at the Samas Spa.
  • A boat tour of the Lakes of Killarney.
  • Aunt Margaret dropping her phone in the river and our guide retrieving it.
  • 5 hour dinners with my parents, Grandma, and Aunt Kathleen and Margaret in Kenmare.
  • Dad and Neilus singing at the pub the night before the wedding.
  • Grandma eating 3 ice cream cones after the reception at Rose and Neil’s wedding.
  • Watching my Dad's face as Nelius spoke at the wedding (he looked like a kid on Christmas).
  • Everyone and their mom stealing Robby away from me on the wedding dance floor.
  • Having a 99 at the Clon Street Fair.
  • The madness at the Courtmac Hotel the night after the wedding.
  • Robby and I staying out til 4 am on our last night, forcing us to go directly to the airport for a 18 hour travel day.

And so much more. Here are some photos taken in the 10 days. All iPhone.